Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
