Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
