Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
