my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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