Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
