My room smells like vodka and shame
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
