Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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