And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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