Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Can I color on your dick again?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
