sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
