he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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