I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
