i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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