Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
