Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Randomize
