I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
