No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
