I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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