i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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