All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
