I will die if light touches me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
ttyl tear gas
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
