True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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