...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My ass is underappreciated
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
