Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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