it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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