sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
