I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
