one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
