he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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