he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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