My first STD was from a foam party
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
