How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
