Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
