She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
