so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
