I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
