I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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