I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am one with the molecules
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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