Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
