matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
