There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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