Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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