ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
