I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
