if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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