She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
