Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
