i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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