So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Randomize
