so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
