"it" just moved
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
