get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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