i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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