Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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