Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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