Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
