hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize