Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
