Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
