sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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